Doin' Good (Not so Good)

“So how’s your day been?” "How are you doing?" How many times do you hear those a day? Once? Twice? Thrice? Never? “I don’t know so stop asking me” times? Regardless, when someone says either of questions, it shows they are looking out for you or want to check in on how you are (totally not repeating one of the questions again). It feels nice, to be acknowledged every once in a while by someone asking how you are. But what normally happens is that you hear those phrases more often the worse you look that day. That's not quite as encouraging. Say hypothetically you are having an awful day; on said hypothetical day everyone you know comes and asks if you are alright. There's a point in the day where you just give up the facade or put one up so people stop asking, the attention is nice and the concern from others can also be nice (not in the sense that they are concerned, but in the sense that they care about your well-being), but it eventually becomes too much. Too much attention, too much denying that you really aren't good, too much not being alone. 

Not everyone is like this, I know; I'd like to think I'm one of those people who can say to people who ask me on those days "Yeah. I'm losing ground and gaining speed, but you haven't lost me yet.*" And move on. Honestly I had a couple of days like that this past week and its been on my mind. A few friends of mine have had long streaks of days like that before too, some more recently than others. It's not fun to have those dreary days or find out someone else is having a day like that either. 

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that, as I've had a few frankly terrible days recently, keep an eye out for people who are having those days too. Just check in with friends, see how they're doing. If they are having a bad day, show them you care (it helps, even if they don't want to say anything), but don't be overbearing, it doesn't help anyone then. Sometimes, showing you support them and stepping off to the side can help more than standing right beside them at all times. Some days, you just need to fight your own monsters, but know that when you may fall, there's someone there to catch you and pull you onto your feet again.     

*Took some lyrics from "Yet" by Switchfoot and spliced them together. Kinda just had to. Need to fill that daily quota of song references you know?. 

Back to the Basics

Once upon a time, you learned something. Simple right? One day you decided to learn something (or not and learned that thing anyways) and there you go, something to put under your belt of knowledge, Maybe that thing was a of extreme importance or perhaps it was a bit odd or hyper situational. Give it a few months, maybe a year or two and that belt gets looser around the knowledge. Every once in a while you remember to give the belt a tug to bring it back up or tighten it so it actually does its job, but eventually something falls out. Conversations, definitions, memories, skills, the reason you went down outside to get your brother when you already subconsciously know he is in his room; they just escape your grasp. Whether or not you notice is another discussion in its own right.

Recently I've been trying to relearn piano (which is not going well), relearn guitar (slightly more successful), and get back into running cross country running (more successful than the other two combined). The problem with having to almost start over cross country is that it wasn't really my fault. I had an injury, which led to another, which spurred another injury to take its place and now I'm here. After about a month of not running (to put that into context, the cross country season is only a couple months long and the season is almost finished), I finally ran a race. That race wasn't quite how it would normally be after most of any other season, I ran a time comparable to times I get at the beginning of the season (that should also put into prospective just how well my relearning of piano and guitar are going) . That's like taking two or three months of work on a project and scrapping it just before the due date. Needless to say, that day was both refreshing and disappointing to me for various reasons. Nice to know that I can still run, breath correctly, and pace myself for three miles, but not as nice to know that with only a few weeks left in the season that I have a LOT of catching up to do. Conditioning is time consuming and relatively somewhat painful, but that doesn't mean I can't do it. Caught those running skill just before they got out of my reach.

Once upon a time, you forgot something. Next time, you brought it back.